used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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