Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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