Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize