i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
