I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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