One girl and one boy is just not enough.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
