before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
