At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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