is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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