champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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