Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
