Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
