does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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