She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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