Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Are we still banned from the library?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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