Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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