I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
