Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
