STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
