And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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