Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
