Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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