I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
