Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
