There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
