Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
