how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
