Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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