dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he thought i was a dude.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize