That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
