then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
