just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
