I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
there is glitter all over my balls
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
