I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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