i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
