Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
