just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
