I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
