We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize