I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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