THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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