Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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