So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
