You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
