Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
