there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
