just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
