i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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