Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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