Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
