Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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