I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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