So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
