I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
