Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
