i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I love having hate sex.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
