Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
