Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need a beard to bite.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
