bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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