I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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