Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
