dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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