i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
