The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
